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Funny Joke of the Month

Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road
when she sees a big bad wolf crouched down behind a log.

"My, what big eyes you have, Mr.Wolf."

The wolf jumps up and runs away.

Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the
wolf again and this time he is crouched behind a bush.

"My what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf."

Again the wolf jumps up and runs away.

About two miles down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees
the wolf again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock.

"My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf."

With that the wolf jumps up and screams, "Will you knock it off,
I'm trying to poop!"

2nd Funny Joke of the Month

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The busdriver said:
"That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." In a huff,
the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took
an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.

The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated
and asked her what was wrong.

"The bus driver insulted me." she fumed.

The man sympathized and said: "Why, he's a public servant
and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."

You're right." She said. "I think I'll go back up there
and give him a piece of my mind."

"That's a good idea." the man said. "Here, let me hold
your monkey."

Funny One-Liners of the Month

It took 6 weeks to get a dentist appointment. It was like pulling teeth to get them to see me.

Don't be superstitious since it will only bring you bad luck.

If the sky is the limit, where does space exploration fit in?

If God didn't want us to be happy, he never would have created Internet Porn.

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

What's the difference between 'fat chance' and 'slim chance'?

The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.

The difference between the Pope and your boss. The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

You gotta love those Jacksons. Janet may be the boob of the day, but Michael is the dick of the year.

What's New in FunnyNews?

Coming Soon! Digital Enterprises is proud to announce its new site AnimalTshirts.net will be up and running within the next few weeks. Animaltshirts.net will be featuring all kinds of animal t-shirts for youth and adult.

FunnyDesigns.com has rolled out new designs in the What's Hot, Political, and Sex sections. FunnyDesigns offers t-shirts, coffee mugs, mouse pads and other items.

Funny-pictures.biz is also offering new designs on t-shirts plus it offers a whole slew of funny, manipulated photos that can also be placed on t-shirts. Funny-pictures.biz has also revamped its shopping cart system, going away from Paypal and onto a more professional system for processing credit card purchases.

Humoroust-shirts.com is a funny quotes and slogans on t-shirts website and has added several new sections: Baseball, Football, Basketball, Golf, Music, Inspirational and Motivational Many quotes, jokes and slogans have been added to the other sections as well.

April-fools.us is a practical jokes and gag gift site that offers fart machines, wind-breaking contest CD's, rubber chickens and much more. If you would like to pull a spoof on someone, this is the place to be. Also, this site offers the history of April Fool's day and some classic April Fools pranks and hoaxes that have been played through the media in the last 20 years.

Practicaljokes.cc is also a practical jokes and gag gifts site. This site offers fake lottery tickets, farting bears and the newly added Pink Panty Hat. In addition, check out the reader's submissions of their favorite gags.

Here are a few examples:

Practical Joke of the Day - Chocolate Cotton Balls

I am a cook at school and teachers and staff come in the kitchen all the time wanting to snack. So, I took chocolate almond bark and melted it. Then you roll cotton balls in it and leave them to dry. Needless to say the staff just went crazy over them and they had to pick cotton out of there teeth the rest of the day.

Practical Joke of the Day - Firefighter Fun

I am now a wild land (forest) firefighter from New Mexico but I used to work for a city fire department that did almost as many medical calls as fire, so we had a full selection of medical supplies at the station. One night my shift partner had been harassing me all afternoon about one thing then the other and I maintained my silence because everyone must sleep! Well, he finally went to sleep (this guy was a notoriously heavy sleeper anyway) and I went to the supply room and got a 1000 ml bag of IV fluid and spiked it (the tubing portion only, no needle) snuck into the bedroom, hung it on a small hook that was cleverly placed earlier in the day, and opened it to a slow drip with the tubing leading down to about the middle of his body.

I then left the room and let the bag empty itself. Because it was only a slow drip he didn't notice the growing wet spot in his bunk. I snuck back into the room and removed the bag and tubing, stopped a moment to compose myself, then I called dispatch to get an alarm check for our station. The dispatcher politely agreed and set off the alarm for out station. When the alarm sounds, there are three large bells at different locations in the station that go off and the lights come on in the whole building. Well, my partner heard this and thought we had a real fire, (who in their right mind would ask for an alarm check in the middle of the night)?

So he bailed out of bed with wet underwear and a huge wet spot on the bed! I ran into the bedroom pretending to get my uniform shirt before the dispatcher had time to say that it was an alarm check. The look on that guy's face was priceless because he still hadn't really figured out what happened, he thought he'd wet the bed! He started to try to cover up the wet spot with blankets so I wouldn't see, but I just had to ask if he needed me to wake him up to go potty next time. This comment was met with a whole host of expletives hurled at me. Finally, I just couldn't hold back anymore and I started laughing so he knew I was the one responsible. Luckily, I took another job before this one ever had a chance to catch up with me.

Practical Joke of the Day - Dirty Car

I was recently walking in a parking lot during the winter, so all of the cars were dirty from the salt on the roads. I saw that someone had written "WASH ME!" in the dirt on the back of one of the cars. I looked at it and thought "how original" That's when i got the idea to spruce it up a little. I wanted to write something that people would look at and think "i wish I thought of that. I wrote "I wish my wife was this dirty!"

It was brilliant! So if you ever see a car or a truck with "I wish my wife was this dirty" written on the back or sides, let it remind you to do the same to any dirty cars or trucks you see.

Practical Joke of the Day - Rock N Roll Automobile

Some friends and I took off one of the rear wheel covers on a coworker's car. (The kind that just snap on) We carefully put about 20 marbles in the wheel cover and snapped it back on. We waited until he was getting into his car to leave and we all just watched him as he started to drive away. He immediately got out and started looking underneath his car.

He then got back in and drove another 10 feet before stopping again. I walked over and asked him what was wrong. He said "I don't know. There's something seriously wrong. I can't figure it out". I had him start and stop his car about 5 times before telling him there's something wrong with his wheel. He then used a screwdriver and popped off the wheel cover. At that moment, I, along with my other fellow coworkers, starting laughing so hard that we hard a hard time talking. He looked at me and then looked at everybody standing in the parking lot and said "you guys are assholes!" He didn't speak to any of us for about 4 days. We almost died laughing.

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