You are receiving this email because you have subscribed or you have placed a purchase with funnydesigns.com, funny-pictures.biz, humoroust-shirts.com, april-fools.us or practicaljokes.cc (all sites owned by Digital Enterprises).

To unsubscribe or check out our privacy policy, see the information at the bottom of this message.

Funny Jokes of the Day

I was once arrested for assault at a toy company. Battery not included.

I was so ugly as a kid, I lived in a mobile homely.

My mother's a lousy driver. She just got a ticket for running a porch light.

I don't mind mandatory retirement. What I hate is mandatory death.

My doctor tells me I worry too much. I'm starting to get stress marks.

What's New in FunnyNews?

FunnyDesigns.com is now offering "Schwarzenegger for Governator" t-shirts, coffee mugs, mouse pads and other items. Recently when Arnold was made uncomfortable by some questions from the press, he stated in Terminator 3 style, "Talk to the hand" placing his hand between himself and the reporter.

Funny-pictures.biz is also offering Schwarzenegger t-shirts plus it offers a whole slew of funny, manipulated photos that can be placed on t-shirts. Funny people, animals, situations are all here at funny-pictures.biz

Humoroust-shirts.com is a funny quotes and slogans on t-shirts website and has added to its political section. In addition, there are new beer / drinking slogans and an off-color section as well. If you're a word person and you like funny sayings, slogans, quotes and plays on words, whey not check out this site.

April-fools.us is a practical jokes and gag gift site that offers fart machines, wind-breaking contest CD's, rubber chickens and much more. If you would like to pull a spoof on someone, this is the place to be. Also, this site offers the history of April Fool's day and some classic April Fools pranks and hoaxes that have been played through the media in the last 20 years.

Practicaljokes.cc is also a practical jokes and gag gifts site. This site offers fake lottery tickets, farting bears and the newly added pink panty hat. In addition, check out the reader's submissions of their favorite gags.

Here are a few examples:

Practical Joke of the Day - Yucky Pens

I work as an air traffic controller, and about 4 years ago, one of our controllers had the facility that works Edwards AFB to force us a progress strip (it is the information we get on inbound aircraft) telling us that the B747 that carries the shuttle on it's back was diverting to our airport because of winds. He also had called one of our airport hangers and asked them to have it park at a certain location when it arrived. Well the supervisors were all ready to handle this and notified the airport management. Well the joke became more public and the city called in workers on overtime to have the ramp swept for the arrival. Before the controller could call off the April Fool Joke, he had egg all over his face.

I had a co-worker who constantly chewed the ends of his pens. So, on April Fool's Day several years ago, I purchased one of those clear liquids you use to help kids stop sucking their thumbs. The liquid is a clear, odor-less liquid that has a distinctly bitter taste. While the co-worker was at lunch, I dipped the ends of all his pens into the liquid and went back to my desk to listen. I could hardly contain myself when I heard him exclaim "Eww! What'd you do to my pens!"

Practical Joke of the Day - Oreo's

Get some Oreo's, the kind with plain white crème. Take out the crème and replace with white toothpaste. You should keep one for yourself that is normal. Bite into it, and offer other people for on Oreo. Don't tell them it has toothpaste in it. When they bite into it, and realize it's toothpaste, tell them that you figured they were going to brush their teeth later you were just going to give them a head start.

Practical Joke of the Day - The Long Wee

My father's favorite prank was one he pulled at a party many years ago. The guest bath/powder room was just next to the room with the party, so it was possible to hear when people used the toilet. My father went in with a hidden bottle filled with water. He slowly poured it into the toilet, making sure it took a very long time. After a little while people's conversations began to drop off as everyone became aware of the ongoing sound and stopped to listen. Finally, the entire room was silent.

Privacy Policy

Privacy Policy: Your email address contained in this list stays inside this list and is not shared with other members. In addition we do not sell, lend or give email addresses or any personal information to third parties.