Once upon a time in the Peach State, the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow over the rolling hills of Georgia. In the heart of Atlanta, a group of politicians gathered at the Peachtree Plaza Hotel for a high-stakes election night party. Little did they know, a familiar figure was scheming in the shadows.
Donald Trump, with his signature golden mane and a mischievous twinkle in his eye, sauntered into the hotel lobby disguised as a Southern gentleman, complete with a bowtie and a mint julep. His plan to steal the election was underway, and he was ready to put on a show.
As Trump mingled with the unsuspecting crowd, he overheard snippets of conversation about the latest poll results. It wasn’t looking good for his chosen candidate, and he needed to act fast. With a sly grin, he approached the bartender.
“Give me the strongest drink you’ve got, and make it faster than a recount in Florida,” Trump quipped, flashing a fake ID that read “Johnny Reb.”
The bartender, oblivious to the ruse, handed him a potent concoction. Trump took a sip, smacked his lips, and headed for the stage where the election coverage was being broadcast.
Onstage, the local news anchor, a seasoned journalist named Georgia Peachtree, was delivering the latest results. Little did she know, Trump had other plans for the broadcast.
“Excuse me, folks! Excuse me!” Trump shouted, pushing his way to the microphone. The room fell silent as all eyes turned to the unexpected guest.
“Ya know, folks, I love Georgia. It’s a tremendous state. But I’ve been hearing some bad things about these results,” Trump declared, his tone dripping with faux concern.
Georgia Peachtree eyed him suspiciously. “Sir, this is a private event. How did you even get in here?”
Ignoring her question, Trump continued, “I’ve got some beautiful, tremendous evidence right here in my pocket that proves I should be winning bigly in Georgia.”
He dramatically pulled out a crumpled map, covered in glitter and adorned with stickers that vaguely resembled electoral votes. The crowd erupted in laughter.
Georgia Peachtree, not one to be easily deterred, raised an eyebrow. “Sir, that’s a map of the United States with stickers from a children’s craft store.”
Trump chuckled. “Fake news! This is the real deal, folks. Trust me, I’m a tremendous map reader. I can tell you, I’m winning by a landslide.”
The crowd exchanged confused glances, but Trump wasn’t finished. He pointed to a spot on the map. “Right here, I’ve got the state of Atlantis, and they love me. Great people there.”
As the spectacle unfolded, a group of politicians who had caught wind of Trump’s antics huddled together to devise a plan. Stacey Peachbottom, a savvy strategist known for her quick thinking, stepped forward.
“Look, we can’t let this sideshow distract us. We need to expose him for the charlatan he is and protect the integrity of our election,” Stacey whispered to her colleagues.
Meanwhile, Trump, undeterred, had convinced a small group of attendees to join him in a conga line around the ballroom. The chaos continued, but Stacey knew they needed evidence to expose Trump’s antics.
She approached the bartender, who had unknowingly been serving Trump, and discreetly slipped him a note. The message read: “Check his pockets for anything suspicious.”
The bartender, intrigued, nodded and set to work mixing a new round of drinks. As he served Trump, he skillfully slipped his hand into the pocket of Trump’s tailored suit.
To the shock of the onlookers, the bartender pulled out a handful of glitter-covered ballots. Stacey seized the opportunity and grabbed the microphone.
“Ladies and gentlemen, it appears we have a case of attempted election mischief right here in Georgia! This man has been trying to rig the results with glittery ballots and fake maps,” Stacey declared, holding up the evidence for all to see.
The room fell silent, and Trump’s conga line disbanded. With a sheepish grin, Trump tried to play it off. “Just a little joke, folks. Tremendous joke!”
But the jig was up. Security escorted Trump out of the hotel, and the crowd erupted in cheers. The election night party continued, and Georgia Peachtree resumed delivering the real results.
As the sun rose over the Peach State, the people of Georgia had thwarted an attempt to steal their election. And so, the tale of Donald Trump’s glittery election shenanigans became a legendary chapter in the state’s history, told with laughter and a touch of Southern charm.
Watch our parody song The Donald Went Down to Georgia now!