Just before midnight, 3 midget lesbians walked into a bar start creating havoc with the patrons. There is a priest, a pirate and a Chippendales dancer at the same bar. The 3 midget lesbians order one bourbon, one scotch and one beer.
The bartender looks at the 3 midget lesbians and says, “I’m sorry, but we don’t serve minors here.”
The midget lesbians look at each other confused and respond, “But we’re not minors, we’re just vertically challenged.”
The priest, who was sitting at the bar, overhears the conversation and interjects, “Perhaps I can be of assistance. I am a man of the cloth and can vouch for their age.”
The pirate, who was also sitting at the bar, chimes in, “Aye, and I can vouch for their love of rum!”
The Chippendales dancer, who was performing on stage, jumps down and joins the conversation, “And I can vouch for their love of a good time!”
The bartender, feeling convinced, serves the midget lesbians their drinks. As they take their first sips, chaos erupts in the bar as the midget lesbians start dancing on the bar and pouring their drinks on the patrons. The priest ducks down behind the bar, the pirate draws his sword, and the Chippendales dancer starts stripping off his clothes to join in on the fun.
Amidst the chaos, one patron turns to the bartender and says, “I guess you could say those midget lesbians really know how to get the party started!”
The bartender shakes his head and replies, “Yep, they sure do know how to raise the bar.”
The midget lesbians go by the names of Harry, Lil Moe and Curly Sue. Lil Moe is the ringleader; Harry is the dim-witted sidekick and Curly Sue is the comic relief.
As the chaos continues, Lil Moe climbs atop the bar and begins to lead a raunchy rendition of “I Will Survive” while Harry starts throwing peanuts at the patrons like mini hand grenades. Curly Sue, on the other hand, is busy trying to climb onto the pirate’s shoulder to get a better view of the action.
The priest, still hiding behind the bar, mutters a prayer under his breath while the pirate swings his sword wildly, causing everyone to duck for cover. The Chippendales dancer, undeterred by the commotion, joins Lil Moe on the bar and starts dancing seductively to the beat.
Meanwhile, the bartender is frantically trying to calm everyone down, but to no avail. The midget lesbians have stirred up a frenzy that shows no signs of slowing down.
Just when it seems like things couldn’t get any crazier, the door to the bar bursts open and a group of burly bikers walk in, their leather jackets creaking as they flex their muscles. The midget lesbians pause their shenanigans, unsure of what to expect.
One of the bikers, a towering man with a bushy beard, strides up to Lil Moe and grins down at her. “You little ladies sure know how to party,” he says, his voice deep and rumbling. “Mind if we join in?”
Lil Moe glances at Harry and Curly Sue, who nod their heads eagerly. “The more, the merrier!” Lil Moe declares, and soon the bikers are joining in on the fun.
The priest, who has been hiding behind the bar this entire time, finally works up the courage to stand up. He clears his throat and looks around at the chaos unfolding around him. “Friends!” he calls out, his voice booming. “Let us remember the teachings of the Lord and come together in peace!”
To his surprise, the patrons start to settle down, for a moment.
But the little licker scissor sisters would have none of this. They asked the bikers to toss them in the air. In Australia they call it “dwarf tossing” but in the U. S. they refer to it as midget flinging. Harry, Lil Moe and Curly Sue didn’t like the term “little people” as this is what they called children.
So, they were flung high and with pride by a bunch of biker dudes who were having the times of their lives.
The bikers and midget bonded quickly over this event. One of the smaller bikers (it was actually Lil Moe’s father Moe Foe) rode his motorcycle into the bar and asked the midgets to hop on. They did. The other bikers cleared some room and Moe Foe and midgets did figure 8’s in the bar to the amusement of all patrons.
Just then three Jewish guys walked into the bar. The Moe Foe rode past them and the three midgets, laughing, smacked them in the face.
They had started a new tradition that night in the bar which would forever more be known as “Dykes on Bikes Slapping Kikes.”
(Note: This story has been Rated R for Racism, S for Sexism, H for Homophobia and I for Immaturity)
Written by Amber Waves