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Dear Family, it’s the holiday season. So, I’m preparing for your criticism, rejection and judgment. Thanks in advance.
Did Someone Say Bacon?
Dingleberry Pancakes
Dingleberry Wine
Dirty Midget Lesbians for Allah
Do Flat Earthers Have Learning Curves?
Do the Things You Fear. How Did Teabagging a T-Rex Get On My List?
Does anyone know where my one-eyed python went? I haven’t seen it in years.
Does the Word Tinnitus Ring a Bell?
Dog on a Jog
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Easy-Peasy Boner Squeezy
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Eating Healthy Is Not In My Diet
Elf on a Shelf Says Go Eff Yourself
Elon Musky
EntreManure: Self-Employed Bullshit Artist
Every Time I Floss My Teeth the Mirror Looks Like a Jackson Pollock Painting
Every Time I Think About You I Have a Bowel Movement
Every Week I Paint A Different Celebrity Face On My Scrotum
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Exorcism Lawyer: Possession is 9/10ths of the Law
Expression Is Joy
Eye Rub Ewe
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Fellatio Gelato
Finish Your Beer. There Are Sober People in India.
Fisher King
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For Halloween I’m Not Going as Spiderman, the Wasp or the Scorpion. I’m Going As The Dung Beetle.
Force It In Associates
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Global Testicles
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Gobbler Cobbler
God takes care of drunks and babies. Do you know how lucky that is for a drunk baby?
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Gray Skies Are Gonna Clear Up, Sit On A Happy Face
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Halloween Be Thy Name
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He Has Risen
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Hello Clitty
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ck Yourself Claus Right Down Go F
ck Yourself Lane!
Hey You! Pull On My Drumstick.
Holiday
Holiday Survivor I Voted the Others Off the Island
Holy Crapcakes Batman!
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I Asked My AI to Draw Aladdin – Genie-ous!
I Bounce, You Pounce
I Can Teach a Man to Fish But I Can’t Teach a Fish to Ride a Bike
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butthole
I Demand a Present Recount
I Didn’t Fart. You’re Imagining Things. Gaslighting One’s Gas.
I Do All of My Stomach Crunches on the Toilet While Taking a Poop
I Don’t Know Who Needs to Hear This But Now’s the Time to Ride an Elephant Naked
I Doubled My Money by Investing in a Parallel Universe
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I Fish, Therefore I Am
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I Have Conviction! Okay, I’ve Been Convicted.
I Have No Common Sense But I Do Have Spidey Sense
I Identify As A Seductress. My Pronouns Are F*CK / ME
I Know a Girl Named Thunder She’s Got The Clap
I Light My Farts On Fire
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I Need a Snow Blower
I Only Do Moderation in Moderation
I Prayed to God Once & the Only Thing I Heard Back Was: I Can Has Cheeseburger?
I Refuse to Dress Appropriately
I Saw Mommy Kissing Banana Claus Underneath of Daddy Late Last Night
I SHART U
I Smell Inside
I Stopped Smoking Cold Turkey
I Swear It Was This Big. Reality: He Hooked His Own Penis.
I Tested Positive for Awesomeness
I Think Therefore I Yam What I Yam
I Twerk You Jerk
I Used to Jog 5 Miles a Day and Then I Found a Shortcut
I Was Probed By Aliens and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt
I Write My Mental Notes in Disappearing Ink
I Write My Mental Notes in Invisible Ink
I’d Rather Be a Werewolf
I’d Rather Be Anal Bleaching a Water Buffalo
I’d Rather Be Picking Dingleberries Off Cocaine Bear
I’d Rather Be Teabagging a Velociraptor
I’m a Lawyer I Work Pro Boner
I’m Dancing On The Match Head Of Reality
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I’m Not Telling You Where I Hide My Turds
I’m On a High Carb Diet.
I’m the Reason We Can’t Have Nice Things
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I’m Trying to Catch SELFISH But They Refuse to Bite
I’m with Stupid
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I’ve Bounced Checks So Many Times That Now I’m Dribbling
I’ve Got 2 Tickets to Paradise and You Aren’t Coming
I’ve Got More Issues Than the New York Times
I’ve Hit Rock Bottom. May I Get My Rocks Off On Your Bottom?
I’d Rather Be an Enigma Than an Enema
I’m Having As Much Fun As Giving Scritches at a Velociraptor Petting Zoo
I’m Ready to Play Ball! (And play with my balls)
I’m So Grateful You Found Someone Like Me
I’m Taking a New Wonder Drug and Now I’m Wonderful
I’m Thinking of Going Pro with My Eye Rolling
I’ve Hit Rock Bottom So Many Times I’ve Finally Bought a Trampoline
I’ve Just Taken a Glorious Poop!
If Barking Were an Olympic Sport I’d Get a Gold Medal
If I Said I Had a Boner Would You Hold It Against Me?
If You Experience An Erection
If You Pooped In My Shoe
In God We Lust. Oh God, Oh God, Oh God!
In the Court of Public Opinion, I Am the Wacky, But Loveable Bailiff
In the Middle of the Night I Make Amazon Purchases on Your Credit Card
INTERNATIONAL BANK OF DONUTS
Irreverent But Not Irrelevant
Isn’t It Fortunate that Ranch Dressing Doesn’t Have All of the Flavors of the Ranch in It?
It Takes a Big Heart to Help Shape Little Minds and My Heart Is Enlarged
It’s a December to Remember, So Remember to Dismember
It’s a Ruff Life
It’s All Your Fault! Squid Blame Games.
It’s My Birthday and I have Covid Cough. Who wants a piece?
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It’s My Birthday, Blow Me, Lick Me
It’s My Birthday. You May Bow and Kiss My Hand.
It’s My Handiversary (The Anniversary of My Discovering Masturbation)
It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog. This is such Bullshit!
It’s Sex O’Clock Somewhere
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It’s Gut-Check Time & I Have Diarrhea
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Joggers Tend to Run in My Family
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Kegel Exercise Instructor
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Kiss My Shamrocks
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Liquor In the Front. Poker In the Rear. Put on Some Clothes & Bring Me a Beer.
Live Streaming My Farts
Logos
Looking For A Hump
Lunch Nap Poop – My Day Is Booked
Mack the Knife Says Spooning Is Good Right After Forking
Make That Face Like You’re Having Sex
Man Boobs (Don’t Stare)
Margaret’s Petting Zoo. Come on Out, It’s Time to Pick the Dingleberries!
Marilyn Monrodeo
May You Eat the Cheese Made From 1,000 Hookers’ Smegma
Me, in the Morning Before Coffee
Merry Kiss Moose
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My account
My AI Drew Someone Speaking Pig Latin
My AI Drew the Pillsbury Doughboy to Perfection, LOL
My AI Has a Sense of Humor Since This Is It’s Version of Women Bathing
My AI Is Funny. I Asked It to Paint My Portrait.
My AI Put Sexy Lips on Jupiter. I’m Afraid to Have It Draw Uranus.
My Balls Won’t Lick Themselves
My Health Kick Is More Like Lucy Pulling the Football Away from Charlie Brown
My Love for You Is Bigger than a Kardashian’s Butt
My Muscle Memory Has Alzheimer’s
My Owner Thinks My Name Is Leave It, Leave It
My Pronouns Are He / She / It & Shit
My Recent EKG
My Relationship Style Is: BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA
My Spirit Animal Is an Amoeba
My Superpower Is Supper Power
Necrophiliac I date through the obituaries
Netflix Sequel 12: Stranger Thingamabobs
New Year, New Beer, Let’s Cheer
Nice to Meet You in Person. It’s Good to Put a Face to My Anger
No Candy for You. Jerk-O-Lantern
No, I Will Not Take Your F-ing Survey!
NOSTRODUMBASS I See Really Stupid Things in the Future
Not an Emotional Support Dog
Not Incubus or Succubus But Fuccubus
Offensive
Omicron the Decepticon
Onan’s Self-Basting Hotdogs
Orgasm Donor
Orgasm Donor
Outta the Way, Slow People
Over Thinker & Over Stinker
Panty Claus
Past Lives Matter
Penis Colada
Penis Colada
PenisTown Hardware
People! Stop Naming Your Turtles Sheldon or Shelly, It’s Too Obvious!
PILF
Pippi Longnipples
Play-Doh & Socrates
PokeMeMon
Poop In My Pants Don’t Lead to Romance
Powered By Gas
Prince of Punnsylvania
Privacy Policy
Probed By Aliens & Went Back for More
Quick! I Need A Naked Nurse.
Rascally Rascalvite from Rascalvania
RATED TV-MA language, nudity, farting
Reading Is Good
Red, Dwight & Blue
Refund and Returns Policy
Reindeer Beer
Ride Me Cowboy!
Ride the Banana Boat
Right Now I’m Holding a Name My Penis Contest
Rip Van Stinkle
Rock My Jingle Bells, Baby
Sample Page
Santa Claws
Santa’s Sleigh Slays Santa
Sarcastic
Satan Is A Lightweight Compared to Me!
Save the Drama for Your Llama
Self-Taught Fartist
Self-Winding Watchdog
Señor Moment: All of a Sudden, I Think I’m Having a Margarita on a Mexican Beach
Shittles Candy – Snack from the Crack
Shop
Shot Puss Fick Cont Cacksucker Motherfacker & Tets
Show Me the Meats
Skid Marks
Slumdog Hundredaire
Smart Ass Bass
Snarky Comment Loading
Snatch N Grab
Sniff Your Butt?
So Glad You Are Beer
Somedays I’m So Lazy I Don’t Even Want to Push the Button on My Roomba
Sometimes I wish I was a monkey so I could throw poop at people & it would be legal
Spooge Bob Wet Pants
St. Patty’s Day
St. Patty’s Day Brought to You by Pat McGroin & Phil McCracken
Stand By Your Man Unless
Steampunk Santa
Studying Sucks
Stupid
Super Duper Pooper
Superman Immediately Regrets Eating Mexican Food
Swashbuckling Fuckler
Takes A Licking
Teabag University
Teacher
Teledeportation (Every Time I Teleport to Hawaii I’m Immediately Bounced to Siberia)
Tell My Condescending Owner to Stop Dogsplaining to Me
Terms of Service
Thank You for All of My Clothing, Sweatshop Kids!
Thank You For Not Farting
Thank You for Your Order!
Thank You!!!
Thanks, You’ve Made Me a Bitter Person
Thanksgiving
The 3 Spooges
The Enema of My Enemy Is My Friend
The Other Vagina
The Rhythm Finally Got Me
There’s a Farty in My Pants and You’re Invited
This Is My Birthday Present
This Is the Square Root of I Don’t Give a F*$%@CK.
This Is What I Think Of You
Those Who Can, Do. Those Who Can’t, Teach. Those Who Can’t Teach Watch Porn.
Throwing Darts Is Much Better than Throwing Sharts
TIME TRAVEL EXPRESS. When It Absolutely, Positively Has to Be There Yesterday
Top Chow Hound
Twisted Pair: When I Make Love to My Sexbot and She Short Circuits
Uni Overload: Unicorn with a Unibrow Wearing a Unitard Riding a Unicycle through the Universe – so Unique!
Unimaginative Blue Jean T-shirt Halloween Guy
uoy kcuf read backwards
Using the Toilet Plunger Is My Main Form of Exercise
Vagina Dialogue
Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day. I Love You and It Hurts. Stop Making Me Do That.
Victim Of A Shit & Run
Violence Is Acceptable
Vladimir Pukin’ (After His War Crimes Conviction)
Vladimir Micropenis Invades Uranusville to Prove He Is a Real Man
Want to see my move 100 mph? Light my tampon.
Warm & Calculating
Warning: I Make Disturbing Bathroom Noises
Wash It, Dry It, Slap It On the Bing Bong
Washbored Stomach. I Washed It and Now I’m Bored.
We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve OR We Accept the Dessert We Think We Love
We Reserve the Right to Refuse Service to Any Douche
We-atch
We’ll Have to Agree to Be Disagreeable
Weird
Well, the Weather Outside Is Frightful
What Do I Think About Anal Sex? F*ck That Sh*t!
What Do I Think about Guns? Now, That’s a Loaded Question.
When One Door Closes Another One Opens. Unfortunately, Mine Is a Trap Door.
Where’s My Friggin’ Food Karen!
Who Did Not Let the Dogs Out Because Who’s On First
Why Does Santa Practice Conditional Love?
Why Is It Every Time I Take a Poop, I Make 3 Stooges Noises
Will Lick Balls for Food
Willfully Immature
Winner of the Fart Burp Sneeze Puke Pee Poop at the Same Time Award
Winnie the Poop
Wise Man, No. Wise Guy, Yes.
With My Luck the Next Time I Hear The World Is Your Oyster Will Be at the Pearly Gates
Work Hard. Play Hard. Play With My Hard-On.
Working Hard or Hardly Working? Or Just Working Your Hard-On?
Would You Like to Have Dinner, Sex and a Nice Poop Afterwards?
Wrath of LepreKhan
Write for Us!
Yabba Dabba Noodle Doodle Dandy
Yo Yo Yo Dawg Grim Rapper
You Can Lead a Horse to Water But You Can’t Make Him Fish
You Can Teach a Man to Fish But You Can’t Teach a Donkey to Wear Assless Chaps
You Invited Me to Dinner and Now I’ll Take Your Country
You Know You Want Me
You’ll Hear From My Lawyer About This Situation
You’re Really Going to Go Places! (Rehab, Prison & Then Buried in the Desert)
Your Face In My Butt
Your Order Has Failed
Zombie Motto: Time’s Fun When You’re Having Flies
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Ride the Banana Boat
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Ride the Banana Boat Men’s Boxer Briefs
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