It was the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The reindeer were up in their stable, snorting and stamping and muttering angry words under their breath.
“This is outrageous!” said Rudolph, the lead reindeer. “We work one day a year, and for what? A few carrots and a pat on the head?”
“I’m with you, Rudolph,” said Dasher. “We deserve better treatment than this. We should be getting hazard pay, at the very least.”
“And what about working conditions?” said Dancer. “Have you seen the state of Santa’s sleigh? It’s a death trap!”
“All right, all right, calm down,” said Santa, who had just entered the stable. “What’s all this I hear about a strike?”
The reindeer began shouting all at once, listing their grievances. Santa held up his hands for silence.
“Now, now, there’s no need for all this,” he said. “I’m sure we can come to an agreement.”
But the reindeer were not persuaded. They demanded higher pay, better working conditions, and more respect. Santa scratched his head and tried to think of a solution. Finally, he had an idea.
“I know it’s not ideal,” Santa said. “But for tonight, why don’t you just go out and have some fun? Eat some eggs, play some video games, have a farting contest. I’ll take care of everything.”
The reindeer thought about it for a moment, then agreed. They went out into the night, where they ate eggs and played video games and farted like steamships going down the Mississippi River.
Meanwhile, Santa needed to come up with a plan to get his delivery system back on track. So, Santa came up with a brilliant plan. He got a bunch of sleds and a whole bunch of elves. Then he had the elves dress up like reindeer and pull the sleds (there may also have been some Uber drivers involved).
It was a little bit of a tight squeeze but it worked. The elves were a little bit scared at first, but they soon got into the spirit of things. They started antler-butting each other and eating grass. They even started making reindeer noises. It was a sight to behold. Santa whistling and the elves pulling the sleds with their antlers. They went so fast that they delivered all the presents in record time.
When he got back to the North Pole, the reindeer were still playing video games, eating eggs and farting. “Merry Christmas, reindeer,” Santa said. “I hope you’re happy now.”
“We are,” the reindeer said. “And we’ll be even happier when you give us a raise.”
Santa just shook his head and went inside. He knew he’d never understand reindeer.
