Ex-Exxon Mobile CEO Pumps Shareholders for Money

Ex-Exxon Mobile CEO, Lee Raymond, is getting a $400 million retirement package from the oil company. So, what do you think he’s going to do with the cash?

Is he now able to afford hardcover books instead of soft cover? Or just hard porn over soft?

Some are reporting that he’s going to take a Gandhi-esk approach to his new retirement fortune and work at some of his former filling stations, pumping gas for the patrons. And, when he’s through with that he will bend them over their trunks and pump them some more.

Exxon reported record profits last quarter and the price of a gallon of gasoline and a barrel of oil has never been this expensive before. Mr. Raymond is doing his part to make sure gasoline prices stay high, shareholder profits decline, and he has enough money to take that dream vacation to Jackson, Wyoming to see the world’s largest ball of barbed wire, nicknamed “Clonia”.

What would The Donald say about this? And by The Donald, I mean, Duck.

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