Guest Post by Aaron von Raschke
Lately you have been playing a lot of hoops after work with your boys and then going out for beers afterwards and not showering in-between. After a couple weeks of this you notice you are itching around the other boys. Yes, we all have gotten it and feel the burn. Your mind instantly says Oh Shit! Yes, the dreaded Jock- Itch. As men, we have all gone through that at least once in our lives and dread getting it again in terms of trying to get rid of it.
There are all types of products out there that supposedly help with this like creams and sprays and powders, etc. But for some reason they just really do not work 100%. Besides the obnoxiousness of these creams the embarrassment of scratching your balls everywhere you go make it worse and you look like a perv walking around touching yourself all day.
I have thought long and hard about this (No pun intended) and believe one of the ways to relieve jock itch is by using “The Claw”. You may ask what the heck is the claw. Well just in case you have been hiding under a rock or have not been anywhere fun in 100 years or so, it is a game often found in various arcades around the world. The premise is to control the claw that opens and closes to pick up prizes and drop them in an open area which would mean you win that prize.
The part of the claw that opens looks like 2 big forks coming together or like one of those huge construction machines.
Think about it, you come home and have one of those claw machines set up right above your bed. Get up underneath and with a remote control use the claw grips to scratch your balls and help to feel better. Yes, there are some inherent dangers to doing this but think of it like with women using a vibrator it helps to sooth where one itches.
Now, let’s talk about some of the danger involved with this. You do not want those claws to come down and clamp too hard, so you must be very delicate with the controls. Warning: Do not operate while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Improper operation could cause extreme pain and swelling.
The idea of being able to be laying down and automatically relive the itch while watching television is something to think about. I mean they even make the claw machines in different sizes depending upon the type of prize it is picking so it does not have to be a gigantic claw but just a claw that can open and close and move around to hit various parts of your anatomy. Wearing men’s undies will offer a layer of protection.
One more word of caution is that you may not want to be watching or thinking about anything arousing because the claw can help but it also can hurt if something is possibly protruding from your balls. That would be a real boner move. So, don’t be a Dick and get the claw today!