Disposable Razor Sharp Half-Wit

A number of years ago, one of the major disposable razor manufacturers came out with the revolutionary idea of twin blades. The first blade stretches the whisker out, and the second blade cuts the whisker below the skin line for the ultimate in smooth shaving.

Sometime later, Saturday Night Live aired a parody commercial depicting the three-blade razor, in which the first blade stretches out the whisker, the second blade stretches it out even more and the third blade cuts the whisker below the skin line for the ultimate in smooth shaving.

A couple of years later, the same razor manufacturer, hoping the public had forgotten the parody, came out with the revolutionary three-blade razor. It’s amazing when invention follows parody.

It was at this time that I found myself joking about the four-blade razor and the five-blade razor as well.

Well, just recently it has happened. Gillette has rolled out its five-blade Fusion razor (with two lubrication strips) which supposedly achieves a 30-percent closer shave than Gillette’s current MACH3Turbo system.

Now, my question is, if you had the ultimate shave 10 or so years ago, how can you keep getting even closer shaves? I mean does this new shaver do a skin peel as well? Is there a little electrolysis unit embedded in the shaver that actually kills the hair follicles at the roots?

C’mon! Let’s just skip to the 10-blade razor and be done with it. Enough of the dramatic build up. You know it’s coming. Write the major razor manufacturers today and tell them to skip to the 10-blade razor and stop holding back!

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