Everyone has a sharp tongue once in a while. Sarcasm, wit, and insult can be used as a defensive mechanism to protect you from getting hurt by others. An insult is similar to sarcasm but also has a malicious intent. It is usually intended to hurt someone publicly or privately. Insulting someone might not seem like the best idea at first, but if you do it right you can bring a lot of laughter into your life. They are great when you want to lighten up the mood with some witty and sarcastic responses that will make your friends laugh until they cry. A good comeback will make them realize how silly they sounded, so instead of letting the insult get under your skin, use one of these comebacks to have some fun at their expense instead!
Comebacks That Are Funny AF
Insults that are funny AF are remarks that are so silly yet so creative that they will shut down the person who insulted you without you saying a word. A funny comeback will make you seem as though you are above all the drama and silly talk that is being exchanged by the two parties in question. The best thing about funny comebacks is that they don’t come with a negative connotation—even though they are insulting the other person! So if you’re looking for a way to shut someone down without hurting their feelings, funny insults are the way to go.
So funny you’ll fart
The next time someone insults you, tell them they are so funny that they make you fart. It will be so funny that they won’t be able to reply back to you and you’ll get to walk away from the conversation with your head held high. This comeback will also make you feel better about yourself and help you get out of any awkward situation.
Go eat 10 Eggs (Or A Shitton Of Chicken)
If someone calls you fat, tell them that you go to the gym every day and eat 10 eggs. It’s something that a person will never be able to respond to, and you’ll get the last laugh out of the conversation. You can adjust how many eggs you’re eating depending on how fit you are. And, of course Cool Hand Luke, no one can eat 50 eggs!
Your Mom has a deeper voice when she’s down on me
If someone calls you annoying, tell them that their mom has a deeper voice when she’s down on you. This is an insulting comeback that will make you feel good about yourself while shutting the other person down.
Confidence Isn’t Everything!
The next time someone tells you that you are not confident enough, say “confidence isn’t everything.” This comeback will make that person feel silly for even insulting you in the first place. You can also throw in some other comebacks, such as I prefer competence over confidence, if you’re feeling extra feisty!
Looks Like Someone Didn’t Learn From The Last Time They Tried To Be Funny
If someone insults you but you can’t think of a comeback, just say “looks like someone didn’t learn from the last time they tried to be funny.” It’s rude but hilarious, so the other person might get offended, but you’ll be laughing on the inside.
You Should Be a Standup Chameleon Instead
If someone tells you that you aren’t funny, tell them that you should be a standup chameleon instead. It’s a dismissive comeback, based on wordplay, that will make you feel good about yourself, and it is also a very effective way to shut someone down. The wordplay is also cute, so you’ll get points for this.
When did that runaway train hit your face?
This is one of the best comebacks that you can use in any situation. It is the perfect comeback if someone is insulting you and you can’t think of a retort. Just say “when did that runaway train hit your face?” This comeback will make that person feel silly for even talking to you. You can use these comebacks when you want to shut someone down and make yourself feel better about whatever crappy situation you are in. Just remember to use these comebacks sparingly, and only save them for the times when you really need them!
Written by Joe F. Youseff